


Harry

by RJLupin



Category: Annie (1982), Annie - Strouse/Charnin/Meehan, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animagus, Azkaban, Boggarts, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Broadway, Comedy, Dementors (Harry Potter) - Freeform, F/M, Filk, Gen, Hogsmeade, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Third Year, Inspired by Music, Inspired by a Movie, Musical References, Musicals, Patronus, Quidditch, Shrieking Shack, Singing, Song Lyrics, Song Parody, The Marauder's Map, Time Travel, Time Turner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-22
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-19 03:19:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 5,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3594384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RJLupin/pseuds/RJLupin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A full length musical version of "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" set to "Annie" by Strouse, Charnin, and Meehan, and additional songs from the 1982 movie.</p>
<p>It's the Muggle life for me<br/>It's the Muggle life for me<br/>'Steada broomsticks<br/>I see cars<br/>And nobody<br/>Loves my scar<br/>It's the Muggle life</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's the Muggle Life

**Author's Note:**

> Originally filked 2004.
> 
> "It's the Muggle Life" filked to "It's the Hard Knock Life" from the Original Broadway Cast Recording.

_SCENE: Summer at PRIVET DRIVE. In desperation to get his Hogsmeade Permission Slip signed by UNCLE VERNON, HARRY POTTER agrees to live life as a Muggle while AUNT MARGE comes to stay._

**HARRY**  
It's the Muggle life for me  
It's the Muggle life for me  
'Steada broomsticks  
I see cars  
And nobody  
Loves my scar  
It's the Muggle life

I want to go to Hogsmeade  
So a Muggle life I'll heed  
Regular post  
'Steada owls  
'Steada smiling  
I just scowl  
It's the Muggle life

Uncle Vernon told everyone around here  
That I go to a juvenile school  
And yet Aunt Marge thinks that is nothing to fear  
She thinks that she can carry all the rule  
And just like one of Uncle Vernon's dumb drills  
Aunt Marge's voice drills right into my head  
And it's always been booming and really shrill  
I would be much better off if she were dead  
Oh

It's a Muggle life  
Really boring life  
Such a buggle life  
Feels like snoring life

Quidditch I wish I could play  
Uh, 'Quidditch', what's that I say?  
Well life becomes such a bore  
When you're stuck at Number 4  
It's the Muggle Life

**AUNT MARGE** (spoken)  
Proud of your parents, boy? They go get themselves killed in a car crash, drunk I expect!

**HARRY**  
She's gonna be a balloon  
Gonna run up to my room  
Get my trunk and then my broom  
I've had enough, I'm leaving!

Gonna run out and be free  
Because it was such a bore  
Being there at Number 4  
No more Muggle life  
No more Muggle life  
Off to Wizard life!

 


	2. Gryffindors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally filked 2004.
> 
> "Gryffindors" filked to "Little Girls" from the Originaly Broadway Cast Recording.

_SCENE: It's time for a new school year at HOGWARTS, and SEVERUS SNAPE is not happy at all to return to teaching his least favorite students. He skulks and scowls in his dungeon._

**SNAPE**  
Gryffindors, Gryffindors  
Every day I must educate them  
Gryffindors, Gryffindors  
Every night I realize I hate them

I'm an ordinary teacher of Potions  
Sometimes the students make me want some beer  
I'd fit the part  
To teach Dark Arts  
But I'm still Potions teacher through the year

Red and gold, gold and red  
Everything has that stupid lion  
If I do get my way  
All those Gryffindors will be dying

See Karkaroff over at Durmstrang  
He's coasting while students push oars  
Lucky me, lucky me  
Look at who I'm stuck pushing  
Gryffindors

How I hate teaching those  
Worthless kids who haven't a half brain  
Why would I even try  
If Longbottom's cauldron melts again

Someday I'll poison his pet toad  
Somenight I'll fail them with Poors  
They'll beg me for mercy for the crimes they've done to me  
Those Gryffindors

I know at the next Quidditch match  
Potter is going to score  
Then I'll pray, right away  
For the dooming day of those  
Gryffindors

 


	3. I Hope Hagrid Will Teach Us Well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I Hope Hagrid Will Teach Us Well" filked to "I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here" from the Original Broadway Cast Recording. Originally filked 2004.

_SCENE: HAGRID'S first Care of Magical Creatures Class, on the grounds outside the paddock. HAGRID greets his class of GRYFFINDOR and SLYTHERIN students and brings them to BUCKBEAK and the HIPPOGRIFFS._

**HAGRID** (spoken)  
Come on, quickly! Yer my firs' Care of Magical Creatures class, and I gotteh great lesson comin' up!

(sung)  
Now first just open up your books

 **DRACO**  (spoken)  
Exactly how do we do that?

 **HAGRID  
** You can't open, why can't you tell?

 **DRACO** (spoken)  
How do we open our books?

 **HAGRID  
** You've got to stroke them down the spine

 **DRACO** (spoken)  
How silly we've been! We should have stroked them!

 **HARRY  
** I hope Hagrid will teach us well!

 

 **HAGRID  
** These creatures are called Hippogriffs

 **LAVENDER** (spoken)  
Ooooh! Look at their pretty colors!

 **HAGRID  
** I really think they are so swell

(spoken) They're beau'iful, aren't they?  
(sung)  
Does anyone want to come near?

 **HERMIONE** (spoken)  
Oh, I'm not really sure about this

 **HARRY**  
Fine then, I'll do it, might as well  
  
_(HARRY approaches BUCKBEAK)_

 **HAGRID**  
Harry, now  
Come and bow  
Look him in the eye  
You've done well  
I can tell  
Buckbeak will let you fly!

Climb on him behind the wing joint

 **LAVENDER** (spoken)  
But Harry, remember your tea leaves!

 **HAGRID**  
Pull no feathers or he will yell  
So grab onto his side  
He'll take you for a ride

 **RON and HERMIONE  
** I hope Hagrid will teach us well!

_(HARRY climbs onto BUCKBEAK and starts to fly around the grounds)_

**HARRY**  
Oh, he dips  
Well this trip's  
Not what I prefer  
Min'stry lines  
Hagrid's mind  
Extremely  
Do differ

_(HARRY has a successful ride around the paddock and returns to the ground. The class applauds and starts to approach the other HIPPOGRIFFS. DRACO approaches BUCKBEAK)_

**DRACO  
** Well I knew this would be easy

 **CRABBE and GOYLE**  
Well he knew this would be easy

 **DRACO  
** You ugly brute, you're not much hell

_(Offended, BUCKBEAK slashes DRACO'S arm. DRACO falls down in pain and cries)_

Oh my God, look, oh my!  
I think I'm gonna die

 **HARRY, RON and HERMIONE  
** I hope Hagrid will teach us well

 **DRACO** (spoken)  
I'm dying!

 


	4. You Won't Beat a Boggart Without A Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You Won't Beat a Boggart Without a Smile" filked to "You're Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile" from the Original Broadway Cast Recording. Originally filked 2004.

_SCENE: Defense Against the Dark Arts class with GRYFFINDORS. A wardrobe containing a boggart sits in the middle of the classroom. PROFESSOR LUPIN instructs NEVILLE to join him at the front of class and help him with the lesson after discovering NEVILLE'S worst fear is PROFESSOR SNAPE._

**LUPIN**  
Neville, come here  
Tell me your fear  
And we'll change it's style  
Cause Neville  
You won't beat a boggart without a smile

Well, you fear Snape  
We'll change his shape  
You'll laugh out a mile  
Cause Neville  
You won't beat a boggart without a smile

When you see a Boggart  
It changes to your worst fear  
But if you force it to amuse  
Then it is out of here  
Use laughter

So you're amused  
It blows its fuse  
It's gone for a while  
Remember  
You won't beat a boggart without a smile

_(The boggart appears and turns into SNAPE. NEVILLE casts "Riddikulus!" and Boggart Snape is immediately transformed into wearing NEVILLE'S grandmother's clothes)_

**LUPIN  
** Ah, it's Grandmother Boggart Snape!

 **CLASS**  
Ha ha ha ha ha  
Ha ha ha ha ha  
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

 **LUPIN**  
Well, you feared Snape  
We changed his shape  
You laughed out a mile  
Remember you won't beat a boggart  
You won't beat it  
Without an L

 **CLASS  
** A

 **LUPIN  
** U

 **CLASS  
** G

 **LUPIN  
** H

 **CLASS  
** Laugh, darn ya!

 **LUPIN**  
When you see a boggart  
It changes to your worst fear  
But if you force it to amuse  
Then it is out of here

_(The scene shifts to the Gryffindor Common Room later that night, where the class is reliving one of their favorite lessons of all time. RON gets up in front of everyone and starts impersonating PROFESSOR LUPIN)_

**RON**  
Neville come here  
Tell me your fear  
And we'll change its style

 **GRYFFINDORS**  
Cause Neville  
You won't beat a boggart without a smile

Well you fear Snape  
We'll change his shape  
You'll laugh out a mile  
Cause Neville  
You won't beat a boggart without a smile

 **HERMIONE**  
When you see a boggart  
It changes to your worst fear  
But if you force it to amuse  
Then it is out of here

 **NEVILLE  
** Use laughter

 **RON**  
Ah, the lovely Grandmother Boggart Snape!  
  
_(NEVILLE appears dressed as Grandmother Boggart Snape)_

 **NEVILLE**  
Do do do do do  
Do do do do do  
Do do do do do do do

 **GRYFFINDORS**  
So you're amused  
It blows its fuse  
It's gone for a while  
Remember  
You won't beat a boggart  
Though you may be so smart  
You won't beat a boggart  
Without a  
Smile  
Smile  
Smile  
Smile darn ya, smile!

 


	5. Hogsmeade Street

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Hogsmeade Street" filked to "Easy Street" from the Original Broadway Cast Recording.

_SCENE: An empty classroom next to the statue of the one eyed witch. FRED and GEORGE WEASLEY pull out a blank MARAUDER'S MAP and give it to HARRY, explaining how HARRY will be able to join his friends in HOGSMEADE._

**GEORGE**  
I remember the way your dear old Uncle  
Never did sign your permission slip

**FRED**  
I said, “George, I think Harry's need is greater”  
We're here to give you a little tip

**GEORGE  
** In our first year, we were so carefree and young

**FRED  
** And Filch got mad for

**GEORGE  
** Our bomb of dung

**FRED AND GEORGE**  
Marauders, oh we know you're in there listening  
We took your parchment, and your advice to

**FRED**  
Hogsmeade Street  
Hogsmeade Street  
Time to sneak on in

**GEORGE**  
Yeah yeah yeah

**FRED AND GEORGE**  
Can't be beat  
Hogsmeade Street  
Let the fun begin

**HARRY  
** Hogsmeade street?

**FRED AND GEORGE**  
Hogsmeade street  
Where you'll have your day  
Yeah yeah yeah  
Use our treat  
To Hogsmeade Street  
This will show your way

**HARRY**  
I don't know, I think I am gonna freak out  
You'll help me sneak out  
How can this be?  
There's no way I could ever get to Hogsmeade  
It's not possible  
You're fooling me

**GEORGE  
** I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good

**FRED  
** The words appear there,

**GEORGE  
** Just like they should

**FRED  
** We owe them, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs

**HARRY  
** I'll really get there?

**GEORGE**  
Aww, tell 'im!

**FRED  
** Now move along

**FRED, GEORGE AND HARRY**  
Yes!  
Hogsmeade street  
Hogsmeade street  
The map is the key!

**FRED  
** Yes sirree

**GEORGE  
** Yes sirree

**HARRY  
** Yes sirree!

**FRED, GEORGE AND HARRY  
** Hogsmeade street

**HARRY  
** Hogsmeade street

**FRED, GEORGE AND HARRY  
** Hogsmeade street

**HARRY  
** Hogsmeade street

**FRED, GEORGE, AND HARRY  
** That's where we're gonna be!

 


	6. Godson

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Godson" filked to "Maybe" from the Original Broadway Cast Recording.
> 
> Originally, "Maybe" was filked as a different song for Professor Trelawney's class, but upon revisions, I decided Harry needed another solo to deal with the revelation of Sirius' relationship to him.

_SCENE: HARRY sits in his bed with his photo album of his parents, flipped open to the page of LILY and JAMES POTTER'S wedding. HARRY sees the photo of SIRIUS BLACK laughing beside them as the best man. Having just found out in Hogsmeade that SIRIUS BLACK killed JAMES and LILY, HARRY is now seething with rage._

  
**HARRY:**  
Maybe they were friends  
For one moment in school  
Black telling jokes to my mother  
My dad and Black being cool

Maybe Black set up  
My mother and my dad  
Maybe they just didn't realize  
How he could wind up so bad

How can they laugh?  
How can they grin?  
How can Black stand there  
When he did them in?

Did he know then  
His horrible plan?  
How could this be  
My father's best man?

So how could he betray  
His friends and make it done  
How could they leave me here as his  
Godson

Black's on the run  
Black's after me  
Guess he wants to get  
The whole family  
My dad and mum  
They tried best they can  
I'll promise them  
I'll finish this man

So maybe now he'll come  
Now that I've seen the grim  
I'll be here plotting revenge to  
Kill him


	7. The Firebolt Song

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The Firebolt Song" filked to "Sandy" from the 1982 movie version of Annie. Originally filked 2004.

_SCENE: Gryffindor Boys' Dormitory. HARRY and RON wake up on Christmas morning and rip open their presents. HARRY finds a mysterious package with no note, and opens it to reveal a brand new Firebolt._  
  
**HARRY**  
Just look at this new broom!

**RON  
** Harry, it's a Firebolt!

**HARRY**  
Well who gave it to me?  
It wasn't the Dursleys  
Oh Ron  
Some help here if you please

**RON**  
Dumble!  
Maybe it was Dumble!  
Dumbledore's the man who  
Could have given you this broom!

**HARRY**  
Oh no  
He didn't give this to me  
The cloak that he sent was  
For passing through family

**RON**  
Hey, just think of Malfoy  
He'll be sick as a pig  
Cause this  
Is a broom he would dig  
Lupin!  
Maybe it was Lupin!

**HARRY**  
Listen Ron if Lupin had this much gold  
Then he  
Would go out and buy some new robes

**RON  
** Well then

**HARRY  
** Who could this broom sender be?


	8. Patronus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Patronus" filked to "Tomorrow" from the Original Broadway Cast Recording. Originally filked 2004.

_SCENE: The History of Magic Classroom. LUPIN has brought a boggart and will be using it to teach HARRY the Patronus Charm._

**LUPIN**  
I'm teaching you a Patronus  
It's like what a Dementor feeds upon  
Hope and sun  
And if you do wish to make one  
Clearly say the spell, it goes 'Expecto  
Patronum'

Now you concentrate on a happy memory  
And then just say the words, and soon  
You'll see

Oh  
It's harder with more Dementors  
But you must hang onto that Patronus  
Come what may

Expecto  
Patronum  
Protects ya  
Patronus  
It keeps Dementors away

It's harder with more Dementors  
But you must hang onto that Patronus  
Come what may

Expecto  
Patronum  
Protects ya  
Patronus  
It keeps Dementors away

**LUPIN AND HARRY**  
Expecto  
Patronum  
Protects ya  
Patronus  
It keeps Dementors  
Away

 


	9. Face It, Your Cat Just Ate My Rat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Face It, Your Cat Just Ate My Rat" filked to "I Don't Need Anything But You" from the Original Broadway Cast Recording. Originally filked 2004.

_SCENE: RON WEASLEY and HERMIONE GRANGER in the Gryffindor Common Room. RON has just discovered that SCABBERS is missing again, but this time, he's found ginger cat hairs and blood by SCABBERS' sheets, and he is convinced he knows exactly what's happened to SCABBERS._

 

**RON**  
Now Scabbers is gone  
Because your cat ate him

**HERMIONE**  
No Crookshanks did not  
It's just that you hate him

**RON**  
Hermi'ne, don't pretend  
I'll say right off the bat  
Face it, your cat just ate my rat

**HERMIONE**  
You've hated my cat  
Exactly from the start  
I just don't see why  
You've never loved his heart

**RON**  
You think that monster there  
Is what you call a cat?  
Face it, your cat just ate my rat

Your cat is such a monster

**HERMIONE  
** Don't you say that again

**RON  
** Your cat is such a monster

**HERMIONE**  
No Ron  
That's you

**RON  
** Since when?

The moment they met  
Scabbers was in terror

**HERMIONE**  
You've lost your own pet  
That's your biggest error

**RON**  
There's blood on Scabber's sheets  
How will you counter that?  
Face it, your cat just ate my rat

Scabbers is gone forever

**HERMIONE**  
Go look under the beds  
You've had a thing against him  
Since he  
Fell on  
Your head

**RON**  
You never took your  
Cat too seriously  
I said he attacked  
You don't listen to me

**HERMIONE**  
You always said Scabbers  
Was boring and so fat

**RON  
** Face it, your cat just ate my rat

You act like Scabbers  
Has gone on vacation  
Stop making up things  
From imagination

**HERMIONE**  
There is no proof to say  
Your story is a fact

**RON  
** Face it, your cat ate him!

**HERMIONE  
** He did not!

**RON**  
Yes he did!  
Face it, your cat just ate my rat!

 

 


	10. We'd Like To Thank You, Sir Cadogan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "We'd Like To Thank You, Sir Cadogan" filked to "We'd Like To Thank You, Herbert Hoover" from the Original Broadway Cast Recording. Originally filked 2004.

_SCENE: Late at night, The Great Hall. Sleeping bags cover the floor as all HOGWARTS STAFF and STUDENTS gather together after discovering that SIRIUS BLACK was let into the Gryffindor Common Room with a knife by SIR CADOGAN._

**TEACHERS AND STUDENTS**  
Tonight the castle is being searched  
Tonight we're sleeping uneasy

**RON**  
Tonight my bed curtains have been slashed  
Who knew that would be?

**GRYFFINDORS**  
We always loved all of the portraits  
But we loved ours the most for sure

**NEVILLE  
** I always felt safe in the castle

**GRYFFINDORS  
** We don't anymore!

**TEACHERS AND STUDENTS**  
We'd like to thank you, Sir Cadogan  
For really guarding the entrance  
We'd like to thank you, Sir Cadogan  
You really had a lot of sense  
Sirius Black came to your portrait  
He read the passwords off to you  
And then you let that murderer in  
What a thing to do

**HARRY, RON AND HERMIONE  
** We met you the first day of classes

**RON  
** I really thought you were a git

**HARRY AND HERMIONE  
** A weird knight falling off a pony

**RON  
** What an idiot

**GRYFFINDORS**  
Sirius Black had come once before  
That's when the Fat Lady had fled  
We wanted a nice substitution  
We got you instead  
Hey Caddy!

**TEACHERS AND STUDENTS**  
We really think you are quite mental  
New passwords fourteen times a week  
Hiring you was an accidental  
And listen, you don't have to speak  
Come here and we'll tell you a few things  
We'll have a nice warm fire too  
But Hagrid won't go down and chop trees  
Why don't he chop you?

We'd like to thank you Sir Cadogan

**GRYFFINDORS  
** Thank you, Caddy

**TEACHERS AND STUDENTS**  
For really guarding the entrance  
You are so insane  
You've got no brain  
Cadogan, you sure are dense!

(spoken) Thanks a lot, Cad!

 

 

 


	11. Snape's Grudge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Snape's Grudge" filked to "Sign" from the 1982 motion picture soundtrack. Originally filked in 2004, with revisions in 2015.

_SCENE: SEVERUS SNAPE'S office. Having caught a flustered HARRY POTTER in the hallways after hearing that HARRY'S head was seen floating in Hogsmeade, SNAPE had HARRY empty his pockets to reveal some items from Zonko's and a blank Marauder's Map. Sensing something familiar about this map, SNAPE summons LUPIN to his office. SNAPE lays out the blank Marauder's Map on the table, expecting to accuse LUPIN of helping HARRY sneak out of the castle. SNAPE desperately tries to get the Map to open._  
  
  
**LUPIN** (spoken)  
Yes?

**SNAPE** (pointing his wand at the Map)  
I'd like you to reveal your secret

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
Don't know

**SNAPE**  
Show me all the secrets you hide

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
Try your name?

**SNAPE  
** Severus Snape, master of this school

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
You think so?

**SNAPE**  
Now commands you to  
Yield everything inside

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
Snape, that's a ridiculous need

**SNAPE**  
Now read

**LUPIN** (reading from the Map)  
“Mr. Moony advises Snape to--”

**SNAPE** (spoken)  
Who?

**LUPIN  
** “--Keep his huge nose out of our things”

**SNAPE** (spoken)  
Well how dare!

**LUPIN  
** “And Mr. Prongs agrees with Moony--”

**SNAPE** (spoken)  
What? Stop!

**LUPIN  
** “--And adds that Snape is--”

**SNAPE** (spoken)  
What?

**LUPIN  
** “--An ugly, gitty thing”

**LUPIN**                                                           **SNAPE**  
“Padfoot don't get it                                    Stop  
What an idiot                                               I'm not amused  
How's someone that dumb                        This is  
Professor someone                                     Not true  
Snape's what Wormtail calls                       You're  
A greasy slimeball”                                      Accused  
                                                                      Give  
No                                                                 Me  
No                                                                 That!  
Here you go

_(SNAPE snatches the Map from LUPIN and starts reading)_

**SNAPE  
** “So how is life treating you Snivelly?”

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
Well who could that be?

**SNAPE  
** “Hey, do you still have on your pants?”

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
Good question

**SNAPE  
** “Is it true your nose acts obsesely?”

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
Great nose

**SNAPE**  
“And answer this too  
Do you use shampoo?”

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
Well have you?

**SNAPE  
** When I caught Potter with this object

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
Yes?

**SNAPE  
** I knew for sure this breaks the rules

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
Chocolate?

**SNAPE  
** Its brand of magic makes me suspect

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
Oh really?

**SNAPE**  
It's full of Dark Arts  
For his embarks in school

**LUPIN                                           SNAPE  
** Full of Dark Magic?                                 Now  
That's awfully tragic                                 Lupin don't you  
This could mean no harm                      Play dumb  
Just an insult charm                                You know it's from  
In fact I'm quite sure  
It's from a joke store                                Manu-  
                                                                   -Fact-  
                                                                   -Tu  
                                                                   -Ers  
  
 **LUPIN**  
Them?  
Harry never met these men, did you?

**HARRY  
** That is a no

**LUPIN  
** I'd say this looks like it's Zonkos

**RON** (bursting into the office)  
Hang on wait!  
Gave Harry that stuff ages ago!

**LUPIN  
** Ah, that's swell!

**SNAPE  
** Now just a second!

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
Don't yell

**SNAPE  
** I just don't reckon

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
What's there to tell?

**SNAPE  
** It disgraced me!

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
Don't dwell

**SNAPE  
** It insulted me!

**LUPIN** (spoken)  
No vicious spells 

**SNAPE  
** I know that parchment

**LUPIN  
** You smell

**SNAPE  
** I'm really on to you 

**LUPIN  
** Hell

**SNAPE** (spoken)  
Now take that parchment away and get out!  
Wolf!

 


	12. Let's Go Win the Quidditch Cup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Let's Go Win The Quidditch Cup" filked to "Let's Go To The Movies" from the 1982 movie soundtrack. Originally filked 2004.

_SCENE: QUIDDITCH STADIUM LOCKER ROOMS. OLIVER WOOD is giving a pep talk to his team right before the final game of the season, GRYFFINDOR vs SLYTHERIN. WOOD is fueled with a desire to make sure he ends his Hogwarts career by winning GRYFFINDOR the Quidditch Cup for the first time in years._

**OLIVER**  
Whack those bludgers  
You catch the snitch  
Score everything  
I'll block the rings

This is my last year to  
Get the cup sadly  
Let's go win the Quidditch Cup, team  
You and me

Well, the weather's in fair good condition  
But we'll have to use all of our ambition  
We'll make it our most important mission  
To win

**GRYFFINDOR TEAM** (except Oliver)  
Wood, we are going to definitely win it this year  
Yes, we are going to get it, there is nothing to fear

**OLIVER  
** Let's go win the cup now

**GRYFFINDOR TEAM  
** Let's go win the game

**OLIVER**  
No relaxing  
Keep your focus  
If you get hit  
You cannot quit

If we want the Cup then  
Winning is the key

**FRED AND GEORGE  
** Yeah, we'll smack their butts up

**OLIVER  
** Fred and George, you shut up

**GRYFFINDOR TEAM**  
Let's go win the Quidditch Cup, team  
You and me

Let's go win the Cup now

**HARRY  
** Win the Cup now

**GRYFFINDOR TEAM**  
Let's go beat the snakes  
If they hollered  
That we're losers  
They could shut up  
We've got the cup  
We will play Slytherin

**HARRY  
** Those big snakes but

**GRYFFINDOR TEAM**  
We feel we can win  
We Will get the Quidditch Cup  
Just wait and see

_(And the game begins! And by the time the musical interlude is done, GRYFFINDOR wins!)_

**ANGELINA, ALICIA, AND KATIE**  
We won the game  
And now our name  
Will be in the  
Hall of fame, yes

**OLIVER, FRED, GEORGE AND HARRY  
** We just won the Cup now

**ANGELINA, ALICIA, AND KATIE**  
We got it here  
We're gonna cheer  
The whole day  
And maybe then some

**OLIVER, FRED, GEORGE AND HARRY**  
Yes, we won the game  
Ahhh

**GRYFFINDOR TEAM**  
Today's when we  
Change our luck now  
We won the Cup  
We won the Cup

We just beat Slytherin  
We knew we could win  
So, now we have the Quidditch  
Cup finally!

 


	13. Azkaban

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Azkaban" filked to "NYC" from the Original Broadway Cast Recording. Originally filked 2004.

_SCENE: THE SHRIEKING SHACK. HARRY, RON, HERMIONE, and SCABBERS have entered the shack only to find that SIRIUS BLACK is there and he's an Animagus! LUPIN joins them shortly thereafter, and together LUPIN and SIRIUS start to piece together what's going on. SIRIUS starts explaining himself to the kids._  
  
**SIRIUS**  
Azkaban  
What was it about you?  
You're big  
You're cold  
And theft

Azkaban  
You're tricky to outdo  
But then  
Somehow  
I left

While I was in there, the Dementors sucked  
Happy thoughts out of me  
And if it wasn't for one thing that stuck  
Then I'd have gone crazy

In Azkaban  
But I was innocent  
Became a dog  
Slipped out, and went  
Escaped from  
Azkaban

See that rat?  
It's an Animagus  
By the name of Peter  
Yes that rat  
Was my best friend Peter  
Who turned a Death Eater

Harry, I did as good kill your parents  
My dear friends Lily and James  
And after all this, I do truly know  
That I'm the one to blame  
  
For I had been  
Their first Secret Keeper  
And I told them  
"Change to Peter"  
They switched  
He snitched  
They're gone

 **LUPIN**  
Oh enough of this now  
Ron, you  
Give me  
That rat

 **SIRIUS**  
We'll make you see somehow  
That damn!  
Your rat's  
A prat!

 **SIRIUS AND LUPIN**  
We will just force your  
Rat to show himself  
Because  
He tries to hide

 **SIRIUS**  
And if it turns out that's really Peter  
He should be terrified

 **SIRIUS AND LUPIN**  
Well this is how  
We will prove what happened

 **SIRIUS  
** The truth

 **LUPIN  
** You'll gain

 **SIRIUS AND LUPIN**  
Pete will  
Explain

 **SIRIUS  
** Or go to--

_(LUPIN forces SCABBERSto show himself and with a bang, SCABBERS becomes PETER PETTIGREW)_

**PETER**  
Hello friends!  
I cannot conceive this  
That it  
Is you  
I see

But Remus  
How could you believe this?  
He did  
Try to  
Kill me

I always knew that  
He'd come after me  
And he'd be back again  
Cause he has tricks he learned from You-Know-Who  
He learned them who knows when

In Azkaban  
Don't trust him, he's crazy  
  
**SIRIUS**  
You heartless man  
You broke the plan  
You don't  
Know Azkaban

 **LUPIN**  
Pete, they know  
What really had gone on  
You were  
The spy  
Don't try  
To lie

 **SIRIUS AND LUPIN**  
And now  
You'll finally  
Die


	14. Dumb Rat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Dumb Rat" filked to "Dumb Dog" from the 1982 movie soundtrack. Originally filked 2004.

_SCENE: THE SHRIEKING SHACK. RON is flabbergasted at the revelation that SCABBERS is PETER PETTIGREW._  
  
 **RON**  
Dumb rat  
I can't believe what you are  
I learned it all from the  
Guy with the name of a star

You lived in my house for  
Twelve years just like he said  
And eww!  
You had slept in my bed

Dumb rat  
They were right  
You're a prat

You're the most disgusting rat  
A rat you truly are

 


	15. We Got Peter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "We Got Peter" filked to "We Got Annie" from the 1982 movie soundtrack. Originally filked 2004.

_SCENE: THE SHRIEKING SHACK. SIRIUS and LUPIN are very excited that they have reunited and caught PETER._  
  
 **SIRIUS** (spoken)  
Peter...  
We got Peter

 **LUPIN** (spoken)  
We got Peter

 **SIRIUS**    
Yeah!  
We finally got the rat  
I'm living like that  
No more  
Now I'll kill him  
Like I'm imprisoned for

 **LUPIN  
** We got Peter

 **SIRIUS  
** We got Peter

 **LUPIN**  
We got Peter  
And so Peter was the spy  
Made James and Lily die  
Betrayed his friends  
He'll come to an end  
Goodbye

 **SIRIUS  
** We got Peter!

 **LUPIN  
** We got Peter!

 **SIRIUS AND LUPIN  
** We got Peter!

_(SIRIUS and LUPIN embrace like brothers and begin to dance victoriously around the Shack)_

**SIRIUS AND LUPIN  
** We got Peter!

_(SIRIUS and LUPIN dance more)_

**SIRIUS AND LUPIN  
** We got Peter!!

_(SIRIUS and LUPIN dance faster)_

Peter!

 **LUPIN** (spoken)  
Erm, yes... Now what were you saying, Harry?

 


	16. Patronus (Reprise)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Patronus (Reprise)" filked to "Tomorrow (Reprise)" from the Original Broadway Cast Recording. Originally filked 2004.

_SCENE: THE BLACK LAKE. DEMENTORS are swarming all over as HARRY finds a very weak SIRIUS crumpled by the lake. HERMIONE is right beside HARRY, as HARRY starts trying to cast a Patronus to save SIRIUS from the Dementors._  
  
 **HARRY**  
Lupin taught me a Patronus  
It's like what a Dementor feeds upon  
Hope and sun

 **SIRIUS** (spoken, whimpering from Dementors)  
Nooo... nooo... please...

 **HARRY**  
And since I do wish to make one  
I will say the spell, it goes 'Expecto  
Patronum'

Now I concentrate on a happy memory  
And then I say the words, and soon  
I'll see

Oh  
It's harder with more Dementors  
But I must hang onto that Patronus  
Come what may

Expecto  
Patronum  
Protects ya  
Patronus  
It keeps Dementors away

_(SIRIUS faints)_

**HARRY** (spoken)  
Hermione, think of something happy!

(sung)  
I'm gonna cast a Patronus  
It's like what a Dementor feeds upon  
Hope and sun

(spoken) Hermione, help me!

 **HARRY AND HERMIONE**  
And if you do wish to make one  
Clearly say the spell, it goes 'Expecto  
Patronum'

 **HARRY** (spoken)  
Hermione listen!

(sung)  
Now concentrate on a happy memory  
And then say the words  
And soon  
You'll see

Oh  
It's harder with more Dementors  
But you must hang onto that Patronus  
Come what may

 **HARRY AND HERMIONE**  
Expecto  
Patronum  
Protects ya  
Patronus  
It keeps Dementors away

_(HERMIONE passes out)_

**HARRY**  
Expecto  
Patronum  
Protects ya  
Patronus  
It keeps Dementors  
Away!

_(A beautiful stag Patronus comes across the lake and defeats the Dementors. HARRY faints)_

 


	17. He Won't Get His Soul Sucked At All

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "He Won't Get His Soul Sucked At All" filked to "You Won't Be An Orphan For Long" from the Original Broadway Cast Recording. Originally filked 2004.

_SCENE: THE HOSPITAL WING. HERMIONE pulls out her timeturner after speaking with DUMBLEDORE, and she and HARRY prepare to go back in time and rescue SIRIUS from getting the Dementor's Kiss._

**HARRY**  
Well the man is my godfather  
So don't think that I won't bother  
He really was an inn'cent one  
Which is why this thing can't be done

 **HERMIONE**  
So Harry  
We will go back in time  
And we will stop this awful crime  
And we'll save Buckbeak too  
Sirius gets rescued

 **HARRY AND HERMIONE  
** And he won't get his soul sucked at all

 **HERMIONE  
** The dementors can ruin a day

 **HARRY  
** Oh yes that's true

 **HERMIONE  
** But they will not get in our way

 **HARRY  
** Cause I will do

 **HARRY AND HERMIONE**  
A protecting Patronus  
That is going to shield us  
And he won't get his soul sucked  
No he won't get his soul sucked at all

And though it will not be easy  
We're gonna set Sirius free  
And though him we will miss  
We will save him from the kiss  
And he won't get his soul sucked  
No he won't get his soul sucked at all

 


	18. Something Was Missing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Something Was Missing" filked to the song of the same name from the Original Broadway Cast Recording.

_SCENE: A HOGWARTS TOWER. HARRY and HERMIONE have just rescued SIRIUS out of FLITWICK'S office on BUCKBEAK, and they fly out onto a tower to say_ goodbye.  
  
 **SIRIUS**  
My name is such mud with  
The women and men  
Been slandered and disgraced  
Again and again  
Yes something was missing, that I always knew  
That something was someone, but who?

Everyone thinks I am  
A mass murderer  
If only they knew it  
Was really Peter  
Oh something was missing, before I got through  
That something was someone, but who?

Where would that someone be?  
When would I learn their name?  
Would they so believe me  
How I was not to blame?

The world seemed to suck out  
All of my life's funWho knew I'd recall it  
In my own godson?  
Though something was missing my dream did come true  
That something is no one but you

Would they so believe me  
How I was not to blame?

The world seemed to suck out  
All of my life's fun  
Who knew I'd recall it  
In my own godson?  
Though something was missing, my dream did come true  
That something is no one but you

 

 


	19. Getting a New Defense Teacher

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Getting a New Defense Teacher" filked to "Getting a New Deal For Christmas" from the Original Broadway Cast Recording. Originally filked 2004.

_SCENE: THE GREAT HALL. SNAPE has revealed that LUPIN is a werewolf, and so LUPIN has immediately resigned. The GRYFFINDORS are very upset that their favorite Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is leaving.  
_

**HARRY  
** Lupin's the best teacher of Dark Arts

 **HERMIONE**  
From all that he taught  
We learned a lot

 **RON  
** And he really has a lot of smarts

 **HERMIONE**  
He really taught well  
The guy is so well

 **HARRY, RON AND HERMIONE**  
But I've heard a terrible rumor  
He's gonna leave here

 **HARRY  
** And we'll have a new Defense teacher next year

 **LUPIN  
** Well, Harry, I'm leaving, that is true

 **HARRY**  
But you cannot go  
You're the best we know

 **LUPIN**  
Oh yes, but you understand, don't you  
Cause during last night  
Could have gave a bite  
The parents will not want me teaching  
I'll ease them their fear  
And you'll have a new Defense teacher next year

 **GRYFFINDORS  
** No no no no no no no no

 **DEAN** (spoken glumly)  
Maybe we'll get a vampire

 **SEAMUS** (spoken glumly)  
Or maybe a ghoul

 **NEVILLE** (spoken glumly)  
Or maybe a hag

 **GRYFFINDORS  
** We wish Lupin was staying

 **DEAN** (spoken)  
Or maybe a banshee

 **GRYFFINDOR BOYS  
** What will we get next year

 **GRYFFINDOR GIRLS**  
Maybe a  
Lycanthrope

 **GRYFFINDOR BOYS**  
Just like  
Prof Lupin is

 **GRYFFINDOR GIRLS**  
But even  
If it was

 **GRYFFINDORS  
** It would not be the same

He was the best teacher ever  
And though he dressed shab  
He really was fab  
We wish that he had stayed forever  
Cause he was the best  
He beat out the rest  
Not only is Lupin leaving us  
But so is our cheer

 **GRYFFINDOR BOYS  
** We're getting a new Defense teacher

 **GRYFFINDOR GIRLS  
** Getting a new Defense teacher

 **GRYFFINDOR BOYS  
** Getting a new defense teacher

 **GRYFFINDOR GIRLS  
** Getting a new defense teacher

 **GRYFFINDOR BOYS  
** Getting a new defense teacher

 **GRYFFINDOR GIRLS  
** Getting a new defense teacher

 **GRYFFINDOR BOYS  
** Getting a new defense teacher

 **GRYFFINDOR GIRLS  
** Getting a new defense

 **GRYFFINDORS**  
Teacher  
Next Year

 


	20. Harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Harry" filked to "Annie" from the Original Broadway Cast Recording. Originally filked 2004.

_SCENE: LUPIN's empty office. After saying goodbye to LUPIN, DUMBLEDORE turns to HARRY and has a long talk with him, as they usually do at the end of every book._  


**DUMBLEDORE**  
Harry  
Harry  
Harry  
Look what you've done last night

Harry  
Harry  
Harry  
Some things will come out right

Saved an inn'cent man  
From such a  
Terrible fate plan

And it was  
Such a  
Noble  
Thing to save that Pettigrew  
Now he owes  
His life to you

Harry  
Harry  
Harry  
They'll come a time you're glad

Harry  
Harry  
Harry  
That you've done what you had

In times of trouble  
You recalled  
Your dad on double

Prongs rode then  
When you  
Recalled  
Your dad like you wanted to  
You found your  
Father  
In You  
  
  
  
 **THE END**

 

 


End file.
